I knew opening a store would be tough. I knew it would take countless hours of work. But never in my wildest dreams did I imagine it would take the emotional toll that it has. I never imagined I would have to fight for my family’s reputation, choose friends over money or defend my actions to complete strangers. And I certainly never imagined I would learn the true meaning of integrity, or the lack thereof.
I would have never thought I would become the person I am today – someone I’m not very proud of. I worry way too much about things that I can’t control and what others think of me. I stress daily over marketing, inventory, display and local politics. I’ve become that person that forgets birthdays and anniversaries because I’m too caught up with my own life.
That’s not at all who I am. I’m better than that. My personal standards are much higher than what I’ve been practicing. It’s time for me to re-center myself and move forward.
Today is the day to take charge of my well-being and claim to the world that it’s ok to let go and move on. It’s ok to quit. Therefore, I am going forward with a decision that I’ve half-heartedly made at least 3 times over the last two years.
The Red Door Boutique will be closed permanently on December 22nd , 2018.
I’ve made plenty of mistakes in this journey – I’ve taken bad advice; thrown money at ideas without planning; trusted the wrong people; practiced poor time management; and most importantly – I didn’t stick to my original plan. My original plan was to enjoy owning a store and not get caught up on what others wanted from me. The plan was to be true to myself.
I’ve been lost and misdirected for a while now, but I’m finding my way back.
So why didn’t I do it sooner? Because I got sucked into the thought that “If I quit….I’m a failure”. I didn’t want people to think I was a failure.
Here’s the irony…..I WILL FAIL if I don’t QUIT.
In my case, quitting means moving forward. Closing the store will allow me the time, energy and motivation to chase future endeavors. There’s so many things still on my bucket list and hanging on to the store leaves me feeling trapped. Quitting will free me. Just writing these words has shifted my attitude, even on this gloomy cold day.
I’ve lived my dream of owning a store, so I don’t see myself as a failure. This experience has been a stepping stone to prepare me for the next step on my path and I can’t wait to see what’s around the corner.
So where from here? I will continue blogging about things that make me tick and definitely about things that tick me off. I will also be working on my book and hope to have it completed by next summer. If you’re local, stop by before December 21st and snag a great deal on the remaining inventory. Store hours are posted on the website and Facebook page